Random Rambles | What if?

Random Rambles | What if?

posted in: Personal, Random Rambles | 14

What if? What if I admit that those two words might just be among the most used words in my vocabulary? Not even in verbal use actually, but I’ve come to find that my brains produce a ridiculous amount of signals which translate into thoughts that start with those two silly, seemingly insignificant, words “what if?”. 

 

Now its hardly a secret that decision making isn’t one of my virtues. In fact, its one of the things I struggle with most, even on a daily basis regarding the most generic decisions. What movie should I watch? What should I have for breakfast? What colour should I paint my nails? Okay maybe that last one isn’t an issue most of the time since; a. My nails are too short & b. in doubt I’d always go for red ;) But you get the point right? I came to hate making decisions and tried to evade them as much as I could. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, there’s some decision in life you can’t hide from and since the current season of my life seems to be all about changes this involves an overwhelming amount of decisions, and even worse, a huge amount of options.

 

So recently I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and self-analyzing, trying to figure out where I go wrong and that opened up a whole can of worms (Yuk I hate this saying btw, can we make it a can of ladybugs? or butterflies?). Anyway, I found out that I do this thing of going over every single option I have, and then think of as many outcomes (“what if”s) for each option as I can. At first it seems quite logical, I mean I’m just trying to make the most logical, informed and well-thought through decision as possible. But in my case I’m afraid it has developed into this major anxiety about making the wrong decision. What if I do my masters right now and get stuck in a lab for the rest of my life and wake up one day realizing this wasn’t what I wanted from life? What if I don’t do my masters right now, and get sidetracked and end up job-less, face palming myself for not continuing my education right away. What if getting a room in this city means I’ll never leave this country? What if I finally leave this country and regret it later on? What if following my heart instead of my head will get me into trouble? What if I fail? What if people think I’m crazy? What if.. What if I stopped whatiffing?

 

Lets face it, the future is one big mystery and no amount of whatiffing is going to prepare us for what will come our way. We’re scaring ourselves into a paralyzed state in which we don’t know in which direction to move, and thus stay put. Which was the very thing we were afraid of to begin with. And the strange thing is that we only do this to ourselves. We encourage our friends to go out of their comfort zones and assure them that they’ll be able to handle whatever comes their way. We believe in the adaptability of others yet refuse to trust ourselves. Doesn’t that sound silly? So instead of these worst case scenario what-if’s, I want to try and fill my head with confidence and motivation to do all the silly crazy things that I’m too scared to do. Isn’t that what my 20’s should be all about? About adventures and life-lessons? I sure think so. So lets cross out those what-if’s and in case of doubt use this new motto I found on Pinterest the other day ;)

 

“I do not fail, I succeed in finding out what does not work”

I don’t know if its just me or if anyone else struggles with this too. How do you make big decisions? Any of you with great decision making skills have any tips and tricks? Let me know what you think in the comments below!

 

 

Now enough with the rambling, its time for some red wine, cheese, olives and Audrey Hepburn with mom.

Liefs,

Yara


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  • Ursula Ball

    I think between my faith, consulting with trusted friends/family/advisors, and goal planning helps to decide which things to consider and things to let go!! Thanks for your open feelings with the rest of us!!

    Ursula aka Blueridge Beauty

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your ways Ursula! I guess speaking up about your doubt out loud always makes things more clear in a way!

      Love,
      Yara

  • Sally Sargeant Hu

    Thanks for your honesty sister! I am right there with you….my mind is one constantly hectic place!! I think that you are in a good place. Enjoy the uncertainties and the adventure. Much love x

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Thank you so much sister! I’m really trying to tell myself to just embrace the place I’m currently in, I hope I get better at accepting instead of fighting all the time. I’m so lucky to have you in my life for sure :) <3

  • http://www.sedbona.com/ Sed Bona

    Oh how I can sympathize! I WAY over-analyze and think through all the outcomes of each of my actions. Choosing dinner or a movie can be anxiety-inducing! And such an energy-waster.

    My grandmother has always given me the best advice on this — she always jokes that she can hear me when I over-think. She always says “let it be. When you know the right decision, you’ll know. All you can do is make the best decision at the time with the information you have.” She also likes to ask me “will anyone die if you make the wrong decision?”. Usually she’ll say “if not, don’t sweat over it so much.”

    And it’s true. Sometimes as over-thinkers we just need to let go of that control and desire to make the perfect decision. We need to accept that we can’t always do the exact perfect thing and THAT is TOTALLY ok as long as you do the best you can do.

    But I’ll admit I still struggle with over-thinking a lot but her advice always convinces me to prioritize the decisions and not care so much about the smaller ones.

    Xoxo,

    Ashley || Sed Bona

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Oh man your grandmother is a wise one for sure! I totally agree with her on the fact that you can only make the decision with the information you have at that moment. I wish I could remind myself to ask myself “will someone die over this” when I’m overthinking again. You know what, maybe I should make a print of just that and hang it above my desk!

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting it means so much :) <3

      xx

  • http://ahopefulhood.blogspot.com/ Julie Hood

    Positive what-ifs to challenge ourselves are a great thought. :)

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Hey Julie! Thanks for reading and commenting I 100% agree! Turning those what if’s into positive thoughts can be super powerful! x

  • http://southerndetour.com Southern Detour

    I loved this! I definitely do a LOT of whatiffing. Thanks for the encouragement and challenge! Have a great day!

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Thank you so much dear! I’m sure we all do it, but once you realize it you can start tackling the habit ;) Love

  • http://www.oakandoats.com/ Elizabeth Mayberry

    So true! Goodness, sometimes you just have to step out in faith!

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Oh yes indeed! Thank you so much for your encouragement dear <3

  • http://www.in-due-time.com/ Caroline @ In Due Time

    I love that quote! You find success in what doesn’t work. That is so true. When we fall, we get back up again

    • http://www.thetwentiesguide.com Yara Miora

      Thank you so much Caroline, I agree. Lately I’ve been thinking about something, we even forget to pride ourselves on getting back up again as well, like “hey good job Me, I was feeling so awful and I’m getting back up, trying again and thats admirable”. X